An Interview with: Sosi
Sosi has certainly been through pain and experiences most people couldn’t handle. But she is strong and resilient and despite the challenges life has thrown at her she has kept moving forward and not allowed them to hold her back. As a listener, one can tell Sosi needs purge her thoughts and get them off her chest. For her, music is her medium of expression, a vehicle for her emotions and feelings which otherwise may find an outlet. Her life has been anything but normal and through the turmoil her music became her source of escape. She has done other interviews discussing her interests in music but this interview one specifically we tried to dive deeper into her personal life to try to understand the history and possible motivations behind her art.
What's your name, how old are you and where are you living?
i go by sosi. i’m 24 and i was born in San Diego
Cool, i'm Seth, take me back to your childhood when you first growing up, what was it like and when did you first get interested music or becoming a musician?
Good to meet you! my childhood was pretty fast paced from the get go.. i was born in San Diego n was only there for a super short period before my mother and i had to be rescued from my father by my grandpa. my father was (maybe is still) in the cartel and ended up going to prison for a very long time. he just got out a couple years ago. my mother was addicted to hard drugs so i was moved around between orphanages, my mother and my grandparents for a while until i ended up with my aunt and uncle right before kindergarten. my home with them ended in 3rd grade as they got a divorce and the court said i needed a stable home. so i moved again into my second cousins home. they were involved in a southern baptist cult. my aunt and uncle were aethiest so it was very different for me. they had a piano in their home tho and eventually i tried it out. i would play my new sister’s lesson songs by ear and started composing songs of my own. my passion for music grew from there.
Wow, that's awful about what happened to your dad, how did that effect you emotionally growing up and are you ever interested in reconnecting with him again now that he is out? did you have any idea he was in the cartel when you were around him growing up? what was it like in an orphanage, i have no experience with them so I'm not sure what they are like. it sounds like your childhood was a roller coaster - when did it start to get stable, what was high school like? and what music was inspiring you during these tough times to remain positive?
when i was really little i was actually the bully of my preschool, if you can imagine that. my environment was violent and toxic tho, which isn’t an excuse, but it makes sense. i have zero interest in reconnecting with my father as my only memories of him aren’t pleasing. i don’t care if he’s changed. we’re done. honestly i was only around him until i was two maybe? i just knew how he treated my mother and i and i hated it. that whole area of my life with the orphanages is such a blur. i just remember walking in lines everywhere and this life size Cinderella cutout that was in our room. life was more stable once i moved with my second cousin’s family. it was VERY different and strict but there was structure. i listened to aaliyah and 90’s hip hop every single day up until i moved in with my second cousin. there we weren’t allowed to listen to anything with a drum beat. it was piano or choir and that was it. i would say my depression sparked during my childhood but i was very depressed during that move because it was so different and i felt like such an outsider being raised atheist in a baptist home. no one understood me or even wanted to. so in high school i became SUPER depressed and was the “emo kid” and got REEMED for it. during that time, i had to sneak to listen to them, but my chemical romance was literally the only thing keeping me around. their music made me realize i wasn’t so isolated after all. there were people feeling almost exactly the same way i was.
I don't blame you at all about not wanting to reconnect with your father - I wouldn't want to either. So, how do you think growing up with a tumultuous father effects your current relationship with men now? So how has your early interest in MCR and other bands inspired your musical direction today? You mention you were raised atheist but also were exposed to other religions such as the Baptist Church - so what are your religious beliefs today, if you have any?
I mean.. men are great hahaha i try not to let my fathers fuck ups leak onto my view of people who have nothing to do with him. i think you can hear hints of all the music i grew up on in my music. it’s got classical tones with emo shadows and hip hop highlights if you will lol i would definitely say i believe in some higher power. and i check in with that thru meditation every day... i should literally be dead with all that came with my mom and dad. But in 6th grade my mom passed away without receiving any commutation from me by my choice and that really fucked me up for a while. i’m still here; and while it took a toll on my mental health, i’m not a drug addict like my parents were. somehow i am who i am today and to me, that’s miraculous.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother, what did she pass from and how did you respond to her passing as a child? I can imagine it was incredibly hard to lose your mother as a young woman, and since drugs were a peripheral concern in your life - have you been scared away from them and distanced yourself from them? What do you think about the current drug epidemic ongoing here in the US?
She just died in her sleep one day. which was heartbreaking but i’m glad it wasn’t in some trap house somewhere. i just felt immense guilt for never responding to her letters. i was so angry at her... i’m not straight edge by any means. i like to enjoy myself. however when it comes to hard drugs i will not tolerate them being around me. i have nothing but love for those that suffer from addiction and i wish them the best in finding another light in life that isn’t a drug.
So you mentioned you were born in San Diego but where are you currently living? Also when did you decide to start recording your own music?
i’m currently in LA and i deciding to start recording music when i was maybe a sophomore in high school? i would just mainly record bright eyes covers thru my phone when SoundCloud let you do that haha
Those were the days! So what were some of the difficulties and perks you noticed when you first moved to LA? What is your recording process like - do you do it all in your own home, someone else's spot of a professional studio and which do you prefer?
Difficulties for me mainly are sensing people’s intentions and what they’re TRULY about. there’s a lot of users out here disguised as friends.. when i record i usually start with humming a tune with an instrumental and start free styling from there and then it builds. other times i’ll already have my lyrics written and will find a beat that fits them properly. soon i’ll be incorporating producing into the process. i CAN record either way- studio or bedroom. it really depends on the energy of the people around me when it comes to how comfortable i am. sometimes i ask people to leave the room if it’s too much chaos. can’t be afraid to ask for what you need to make ur song the best it can be.
i totally agree it's difficult in this world today to know what people are about, everyone seems to be about the notoriety rather then the art, it's as if they've got it backwards about what it takes to get recognized....but anyways, so do you enjoy live performances and what are your opinions on the world of streaming - the benefits of course is a greater reach but it's also hurt the ability for artists to sell the art they produce and forces them on the road - what do you think bout it?
Also - what are your thoughts on dreams and how they impact art, do you draw from your dreams/nightmares at all when it comes to creating the art whether it be the subject matter, sound or lyrics?
i actually do! honestly i have my fair share of panic attacks prior to shows but once i’m on stage in my own bubble, nothing beats that feeling. what do you mean by streaming? like games? omg a lot of dreams inspire my songs tbh. i have nightmares. never good dreams, but in some weird way, i rly like my nightmares.
In terms of streaming i was referring more to music, what do you like about your nightmares?
i mean i think streaming music is great. it doesn’t really force anyone on the road in my opinion. in the beginning i was just someone w a computer who met people who were going in the same musical direction as me. no shows needed for anything. my nightmares are just visually rly cool.
I hear ya, but what do you think about how today people don't normally purchase music outright? i think its made it more difficult for the artist who deserves to sell their art, in some ways i wish we'd move towards that, and whats your scariest nightmare?
I mean i personally am the type of artist that gives the option for people to purchase my music but i would never make it mandatory.
Of course of course, I understand, so what are ya plans for the rest of 2019? any long or short term goals?
i NEED to get this album done! i’m so excited to share it. it’s the most personal project i’ve made in anything.